STUPID FANTASY : Episode 001 - Betrayal of Kain
by Eccentric Naldrag
Summary: The following is a parody of "FINAL FANTASY IV", taking place roughly a year after the events in "FINAL FANTASY IV -Interlude-".


_This is a story of betrayal... and sheer stupidity._

Cecil and Rosa were sitting at the local Baron theatre watching a production of their adventures to the moon, from a few years prior. Cecil and Rosa left Rydia on baby sitting duty for their son Ceodore, who unfortunately has a terrible pooping habit that will potentially make poor Rydia scream obscenities, but this isn't her story now is it? Unknown to Cecil and Rosa, a betrayal on a grand scale was on their hands.

"Isn't this a lovely play, Lady Rosa?" Cecil asked.

"Indeed" Rosa replied.

All of a sudden, an earthquake shook the theatre, startling both Cecil and Rosa; a mysterious figure started coming toward Cecil.

"What in blazes was that!?" Cecil exclaimed.

The mysterious figure heading toward Cecil let out a moan, Cecil then noticed it. The figure had pale skin, really spiky blonde hair, and was in some sort of military uniform wielding a massive sword.

"Oh no, it's a zombie!" stated Cecil in despair.

The zombie suddenly attacked Cecil, and the two clashed. Due to being a zombie and the weak composition of it's decaying body Cecil had no issue beheading the zombie causing it's head to roll on the stage of the theatre.

"I wonder what that was about..." said Cecil.

Another earthquake shook the theatre, suddenly another mysterious figure came and attempted kidnap Rosa causing her to let out a shriek.

"Rosa!" Cecil yelled.

"We meet again..." said the mysterious figure.

Cecil, then realized this person was none other than his "best friend", Kain.

"No, it can't be... Kain!?" Cecil muttered out of horror.

"Indeed, it is I, Kain, man slave to Golbez" Kain replied.

"Damnation! This is the fourth time you betrayed me this week!" Cecil yelled.

"Now Cecil, prepare to die... TODAY!" Kain replied, as a challenge to Cecil.

The two preceded to battle, Cecil thrust toward Kain, but Kain dodged and jumped high into the air, and lunged down at Cecil, Cecil then dodged.

"How could you do this Kain, how could you betray me again?" Cecil asked.

"Why are you so surprised? I betray you every other day" Kain replied.

"I think the better question is, why aren't you in the mountains in isolation!?" Cecil asked.

"YOU KNEW!?" Kain replied.

As Kain let his guard down, Cecil stabbed Kain in the leg, disabling him.

"Damn you" Kain mumbled.

"Rosa, return to the castle. I'm going to the moon and get to the bottom of this. Kain, go back to the damn mountains and stop betraying me" said Cecil.

Cecil then went to Mysidia and somehow hijacked the Lunar Whale and headed toward the moon. Cecil then arrived on the moon and was greeted by his brother, Golbez.

"It's been a while, brother!" shouted Golbez.

"Golbez!" Cecil yelled.

"I see that Kain has failed to stop you, I'm not surprised" said Golbez.

"Golbez... is it Zeromus again?" Cecil asked.

"Zeromus? Zeromus is dead, you should know this. No, I'm afraid it's far worse than that" Golbez replied.

"Kill him, Golbez. KILL YOUR BROTHER!" a voice in Golbez's head demanded.

"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" Golbez yelled.

"Golbez?" Cecil asked.

"DIE BROTHER!" Golbez yelled.

Out of nowhere Golbez attacked Cecil, Cecil then proceeded to dodge the attack and stabbed Golbez in the back while making sure to dodge any vital organs in Golbez. Suddenly Cecil was teleported to an old shrine that he did not recognize.

"What happened, where am I?" Cecil asked himself.

A tall, muscular, and obviously evil knight approaches Cecil.

"Greetings, Cecil." the Knight said.

"Who are you?" Cecil asked.

"I am the one who controlled your dear brother. Ha ha ha!" the knight boasted.

"How dare you!" Cecil shouted.

"I, Garland, will knock you all down" said Garland.

"Wait... what? I... I'm the only person here." Cecil said in confusion.

"Shut up, have at you!" Garland yelled as he proceeded to attack Cecil.

Cecil and Garland proceeded to fight slashing at each other and dodging each others attacks left and right. Garland being a very skilled knight, far more skilled than Kain. The two continued battling, evenly matched for the most part.

"Damn, he's still not down." Cecil said.

"Fool, I cannot be defeated so easily, because I am..." Garland said as he begun to transform into a far more evil and foul form.

"CHAOS, THE GOD OF DISCORD!" yelled Chaos.

"Chaos, I will defeat you in the name of Rosa, Kain, and my brother, Golbez." Cecil declared.

"Interesting, but you are foolishly mistaken. NOW, DIE!" Chaos challenged.

Cecil then approached Chaos and stabbed in the heart with the Lightbringer, killing Chaos rather easily which Cecil found extremely odd.

"It's over..." Cecil said.

Relieved that this was all over Cecil began looking for an exit to the shrine when suddenly Kain appeared!

"Not quite, Cecil. For you see..." Kain began to say.

"Kain!?" Cecil interrupted.

"...I controlled Garland, who controlled Golbez, who controlled me, THE ULTIMATE BETRAYAL!" Kain declared.

"Wait, what!?" Cecil asked out of confusion.

"I betrayed you, Rosa, and ultimately... MYSELF! BWAHAHAHAHA!" Kain said as he began laughing uncontrollably.

"Ugh... Kain. You're fucking retarded." Cecil said out of disgust.

Cecil then found a rope that was conveniently near by and tied Kain up and dragged him out of the shrine, and found his way back to the Lunar Whale and took them back to Baron, where he returned to the castle and threw Kain into a jail cell before finding a rather disgusted and out of character Rydia.

"CECIL, YOU GODDAMN SON OF A BITCH, IF I EVER BABYSIT YOUR GODDAMN CHILD AGAIN, YOU BETTER MAKE SURE YOU HAVE MORE FUCKING DIAPERS AND THAT HE DOESN'T SHIT ALL OVER THE FUCKING CASTLE, LIKE HOLY SHIT. I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING SHIT THIS MUCH!" Rydia yelled angrily.

"Wait, Rosa should be here. Where is she?" Cecil asked.

Rydia taking a few breathes proceeds to calm down from the disgust of a baby defecating all over the castle. "I haven't seen her comeback... she couldn't be..." Rydia replied.

"OH NO, SHE'S OUT DRINKING AGAIN!" Both Cecil and Rydia yelled.

Both Cecil and Rydia rush towards the Lunar Whale jetting off in search of Rosa, leaving Kain behind in the jail cell.

"Guys? Are you coming back for me... guys?" Kain said feeling betrayed.

From the disappointment of the feeling of betrayal, Kain made a vow to never betray again. After he was released he went back into isolation in the mountains, not to be seen again for a rather long time.

**The End**


End file.
